Have you had the feeling that your life is not going the way you wanted it?

Do you feel that despite everything you do, things are not going your way?

Do you feel that everything and everyone is conspiring to fail you? Do you feel that you have had to bargain hard for everything that life has given you?

Has the relationship with your partner lost its charm and things don’t look like they are improving?

In a nutshell, do you feel victimized and have stopped enjoying life altogether?

Let me take a step back and look at the situation from a different angle.

As you walk on the road, do you notice the trees, the grass on the sidewalk, the cool air, bright sun etc.? Your answer might be a yes for a few or all – do you remember the split second feeling when you notice the beautiful tree? Isn’t it blissful?

The key to being human is looking at the small things that contribute to making our lives better and happier, like

• Your partner who wakes up in the morning to make you breakfast while you are fast asleep
• Your dog loving you to distraction
• The little bird that chirps in the morning to wake us up
• The bus/train that arrives on time to take you to work
• The postman who braves the heat or cold to deliver your mail
• The pothole in your road that has been miraculously filled up overnight
• The loan that gets granted to pull you out of a sticky situation etc. etc.

It is important to realize that we are walking on the shoulders of so many people who are only striving to make our lives better. The work one does touches so many lives and it would be a pity if we are unhappy and fail to recognize how much better our lives are due to the people around us.

The more you notice what you have and the less you notice what you don’t is the key to Happiness. When you count your blessings (no matter how trivial), life always seems easy, contented and happy. Counting your blessings means Appreciation of yourself and everything that life offers to you.

Rob and Marley had been married for 10 years, but of late their relationship had lost all its fun. They felt that the love had gone out of the relationship and it started showing in the smiles (or lack of) of their children.

They were arguing regularly, and it looked they were heading for a breakup. One day the argument happened in front of their close friend Chris who told them about a saint his wife and him met in India and how much the advice they got from the saint helped their relationship. Thank God this came at the right time for Rob and Marley.

Rob and Marley were planning a last attempt at saving their relationship going for a family vacation so they decided to go to India as a family. They had spent so much meeting marriage counsellors and psychologists but maybe the saint could help them.

They headed straight to the hermitage once they reached India. The saint saw them approaching and smiled. One look at the saint and Rob and Marley felt the weight of the world lifting off their shoulders and this gave them the confidence to discuss their relationship with him.

The saint asked them about their lives and why they are not happy anymore. Rob and Marley both talk about the circumstances, their life, their work and how everything around them has contributed to their misery.

The saint heard them patiently and smiled. He told them that their lives are missing the one thing that keeps the world humming – “Gratitude”

He asked Rob and Marley to write down 5 things that they appreciate in each other, 10 things that they are appreciative of in their lives and come back to him 5 days later. Rob and Marley were puzzled about the simplicity of the task as they had been expecting miracles and healing.

However, something about the saint convinced them to go ahead and do as asked.

They sat down that night and started looking at their lives with a fresh perspective and wrote down things they liked about each other and what they appreciate about the world around them and they did this for the next 5 days as promised.

They went back to the saint after 5 days and he asked, “How are you feeling?” They smiled and told him that when the started writing it was tough, but slowly the list became longer and they started to run out of pages. They were smiling by Day 2 and it was amazing how despite the ‘homework’ it felt like a holiday.

The saint said that the key to life is Appreciation. Once we realize how much the world and their partner is contributing to making their lives comfortable, happy and supported, they will also realize how blessed and fortunate they have been.

He asked them to continue to start noticing all that they have instead of focussing on what they don’t and life will always make them smile.

It has been a few years now and Rob and Marley are happy together and their relationship has never been stronger.

Dear friends, the above is a story that illustrates the power of Appreciation and Gratitude in our lives.

Once we see and start appreciating things around us, we find that our mood starts improving, the petty frustrations going away and our inner strength rising. Remember, behind every supposed cloud there is the sun and the sun is a billion times brighter than the light bulb that we use to illuminate our room. Look to the sun always and it will give you the light you need.

Research has proven that there are more benefits of “Gratitude” and “Appreciating other people”: 

• Improved physical wellbeing 
• Better sleep
• Fall in love with life 
• Increased mental health and strength
• Improved relationships
• Improved self-esteem and self-respect
• Increases empathy towards everyone and everything around us

You will smile when you realize the contribution of others in your life and how the smallest of beings affect your life positively – And a smile a day keeps all doctors away! 

So, practice Appreciation daily:

• Appreciate yourself: Write down 3 things that you like about yourself – you will look at yourself afresh and re-invent yourself. You will slowly feel the old you fade away and get replaced by someone who is full of vitality and creativity
• Appreciate your partner: Write down 3 things you like about your partner. This will make you realize the contribution your partner is making in your life. It will make you fall in love with your partner all over again
• Appreciate your family: Write down 3 things about your family and friends that have benefitted you. See how your mother runs down to help you when you are in trouble, how your child smiles and showers their love on you when you need it the most. How your neighbour baby-sat your second child when your 1^st one had to be rushed to the doctor. There are many examples of people helping you, realize and recognize that.
• Appreciate your workplace: Write down 3 things that you like about your workplace. You spend most of your day there and it is important to identify the positives, it will make you a better employee and more efficient and liked in the workplace.
• Appreciate the world around you: Write down 3 external factors (outside your family, friends and work) that made your life better today. This will make you realize how we should not be taking things for granted and how we should be grateful instead. It could be that the garbage gets picked up at your doorstep by your council or a power-cut getting restored. Feel proud of your state, your nation. This will make you a citizen and role-model for the community.

A stress-free existence is a life that appreciates all that it has offered to him or her, focusing on the positives instead of the negatives. The more you practice Gratitude & Appreciation, the more you will be stress-free and happy.

Till I see you with my next one – Appreciate Life, Stay Healthy
and Stress-Free!!