Are you stressed about your Future?

OR

Are you Stuck in your Past?

OR

Are you not able to Trust People around you?

OR

You are not able to enjoy TODAY

All the above are major stress creators and create disease in our body. So, what is the remedy for the above issues?

The remedy is, “Be in the Moment” – but this term has been abused in today’s times and the meaning diluted.

Someone says when you are in the flow, you are in the moment.

Some say when you are without thoughts, then you are in the moment.

Many mouths, many stories.

So, how to understand “Being in the Moment”?

Let’s try not to get sucked into this intellectual debate but try and look and its root cause instead.

So, when you are stressed about the future, what happens in your mind?

Are you stuck in the thoughts like “What if something goes wrong?” or “What if things do not go as per plan?” or “What if someone hurts you?” or “What if you are left with no friends?” or “What if you become sick or poor etc. etc.?”

So many “What ifs!!”

Where are they coming from? They are coming from your past sad, bad experiences.

Where are these experiences residing? They are residing in your memory. Isn’t it?

Let’s try to find the root cause of another stress creator.

“You are not able to trust people around you.” What is happening here in your mind?

Are you stuck in thoughts of “What if someone hurts me?” or “What if someone leaves me?” or “What if someone betrays me?” or “What if someone is not able to complete the task as I want them to?”

Again, countless “What ifs?”

Where are they coming from? They are coming from your past sad, bad experiences.

Where are these experiences residing? Again, they are residing in your memory. Isn’t it?

If you take all the above issues and try to look into the root causes of these, you will come to understand that the root cause is your bad and sad memory.

If your memory is such a bad thing, then why nature has given you this memory? Memory is a useful gift. It has been given to you for your survival. Think, how hard it was for you to remember alphabets in your childhood. But now you not only remember them, but you also use them effortlessly in your writing, to express your feelings and thoughts. You have seen how difficult it is for a toddler to learn walking. It takes years to learn walking without falling. Think for a second, if you forget how to walk? What will happen? You will have to learn everyday, how to walk again. So, memory is useful in doing your daily routine effortlessly. Also, memory helps you to remember what is good for you and what is harmful to you. If something is poisonous for you, you will not take it. You remember how to deal with animals, which are dangerous and how to tame them or stay away from them.

So, memory is not bad, as it helps us in our daily work and keeps us safe.

Then why this memory, which is providing you safety, considered the root cause of your stress? How correct this root cause is?

Memory is not bad. It does its work without fail… But, when your intellect gets clouded by these fear creating memories, then at that moment intellect cannot take an unbiased decision. It cannot see things as they truly are.

I came across a true story about a lady who used to work in an office. One day an elderly gentleman man joined the office. Looking at this new person, an uneasy and nasty feeling used to start generating in this young lady. This elderly man was a thorough gentleman and never offended this young lady in any shape or form. But still, when this man used to walk past this lady, she used to get irritated, angry. She used to feel like throwing whatever she would find close by at him. At first, she kept her feelings to herself but slowly her emotional condition started to get out of control. People around her started noticing her changed behaviour when this man was around her. Her friends discussed the issue with her and suggested she go to a psychologist. She took the advice. After a few sessions,’ the psychologist found out that as a child this lady was abused by her father. Her father used to use the same aftershave which this elderly colleague was wearing. She used to get reminded of her abuse by this smell and this triggered anger. Her subconscious mind wanted to save her by keeping this man away through this irrational violent behaviour.

She was counselled by the psychologist and slowly over time, she had overcome her issues that were arising from her memory. She never faced the same problem again.

Now, this was an extreme case where the lady’s intellect was hijacked by memory but we all do something similar at various levels – when we are thinking about something that is not in our control. It becomes worse when we do not take any action and keep thinking “What if?”

My advice is if you have done your work or are still working on the solution, then stop thinking about “What if?”. Anticipating results according to your past experiences will cloud your intellect and take away the peace of your mind. In return, you will only get Stress and Anxiety.

So, are we saying we should not use our memory when making decisions? No, you need to use your memory to take a decision by evaluating the facts properly. What I am asking you to do is to not take decisions only by your memories. Evaluate the situations according to the changed facts and circumstances.

Also, once a decision is taken do not think about that subject anymore. Otherwise, you will be hijacked by your memory again.

You use your memory when needed and cut it off when not needed. With practice, you will start living in the moment. When your intellect is swimming in the memory ocean all the time, then its anticipation about the future creates anxiety. Its past experiences haunt you and cloud the judgement.

So, to recap, what do you need to do?

1. Use your memory ONLY when needed

2. When not in memory, be aware of your breath and the events around you at the same time

3. By performing step 2 the beauty of ‘the moment’ will be revealed to you

Till I see you next – Stay In the Moment, Stay Healthy and Stress-Free