“I have been used by my lover”
“My loved ones took me for granted. They took advantage of me”
“I even lost myself in love. What a fool I was!!”
“I cannot trust/enjoy new relations anymore”
Sometimes these past relationships leave everlasting wounds and mistrust. We believe that we went into a relationship with an open heart and true emotions, everything was going right and then suddenly something went wrong and the relationship ended. We feel that in exchange of our true feelings, we only got betrayal. This makes us mistrustful towards others (“no one can be trusted anymore!”). These belief & associated feelings continue to hurt us more than anything else, as we close ourselves to enjoying any relationship.
The reality is when we got into a relationship, we both were enjoying it. The biggest factors that make a relationship enjoyable is to trust and be trusted, to love and be loved, to respect and be respected. So, till such time, others could provide this trust, love, and respect they were with us. Everything stayed true and enjoyable till one of the parties became incapable of reciprocating trust, love, and respect – and this marks the end of a relationship.
The end of any relation is always messy – people say or do things that they wouldn’t do otherwise. The antidote is to retain happy memories of your relations – after all, it was real and had enjoyable moments. Do not focus on the feelings after ‘the break-up’, as you will risk closing yourself to enjoying and demonstrating your true feelings in a new relationship.
So, as you start a new relationship:
- Do not carry the baggage of your past relationship(s)
- Start your new relationship with full trust
- Be your natural self and enjoy
We can talk more on this! Reach out to me as I can coach you on relationship dynamics.
As you nurture smiles in your relations, Stay Healthy and Stress-free!!!