The other day my friend’s father passed on at a young age. My friend and I were devastated, shocked and angry at the same time. We had run from hospital to hospital in the hope that he will be saved. Now that all was over, we were up in arms against the doctors who were treating him.

My friend Joe’s father was suffering from renal issues. His diagnoses was delayed due to the doctor’s negligence which had further delayed the treatment. The result was that his life was cut short when he was in his early ‘50s.

We already had an initial argument with the doctor, and we were now planning to go back to him and give him another our piece of mind – this was in the hope that we will feel better. While we were discussing this in my friend’s room, his grandfather walked in. He was a frail but healthy man in his late 70s and the sudden loss of his son had made him frailer. He had arrived that morning after getting the news of his son’s death.

He slowly walked towards the chair in the far end of the room and sat down tired and sad. We walked across to him and sat near his feet on the carpet. We told him about our plans to go the doctor and confront him about the delayed diagnoses and treatment. He kept quiet for a while and wiping a teat, softly asked, “Are you sure the doctor is responsible for my son’s death?”

“Yes, Grandpa!!!”, We said in unison

He shrugged his shoulders and continued, “Maybe there were some obvious delays from the experts, but the doctors were not the real cause of my son’s death.”

Joe was perplexed and angry at the same time, “Grandpa, if not the doctors, then who is responsible?”

Grandfather said, “Your father’s anger!”

Joe said, “Yes, my father was short-tempered and disappointed with many things that he faced in the outside world, but that does not make Anger his killer.”

Grandfather said, “You are young, and this is the reason you are not able to spot the obvious. Did you ever see your father in peace once he was home?”

Joe was forced to replay his father’s time at home and realized how he always saw his father:

• On the edge
• Feeling Irritated
• Refusing to let go of his resentment
• Under pressure
• Finding faults in others
• Judging others
• Denying himself happiness
• Looking gloomy
• In haste,
• Not appreciating others
• Not enjoying relationships and in general,
• Not enjoying life

Joe agreed reluctantly but a realization had also started to set in in both of us.

Grandfather said further, “Slowly your father had become secluded from others and was left alone with his anger and sadness. The added challenge was that angry people like him do not take care of their health properly. They are negligent towards their dietary habits and do not take anyone’s advice. Slowly, one illness after another crept in silently and by the time he realized the damage, it was too late. Now, tell me, do you still blame the doctors?”

We sat silently, redirecting our minds to the real issue on hand. All the eyes in the room were moist but realization had also set in.

Later in the evening, when I reached home, I started looking for information. I came to know the astonishing, eye-opening facts which were in line with what Joe’s Grandfather was telling us earlier.

A journal read, “Stress and uncontrolled reactions to stress can also lead to kidney damage. Kidneys are filters of our body and they are prone to problems with blood circulation and blood vessels. High blood pressure and blood sugar can place more strain on kidneys. That is the reason people with diabetes and high blood pressure are at a high risk of kidney disease and vice a versa. Therefore, if you want to prevent heart or kidney disease or improve health while living with heart and/or kidney disease then managing your stress is an important part of overall health maintenance.”

I understood that stress created anger in Joe’s father and this anger created more stress in his body & mind. This was a vicious cycle which was hard to break for him and his health kept spiraling downwards.

The collateral damage was that his anger negatively affected people around him and their reactions increased his stress exponentially. I concluded – Joe’s grandfather was right. Anger had killed Joe’s father.

I searched for answers on how to manage and control my anger in easy steps.

And I found the answer –

A Mantra that says, “The Action of No Action”.

 ‘Action of No Action’ in this context means that you make a habit not to perform certain actions or perform certain actions which are not outward facing.

Do not perform the below actions

• Judging others for their words or actions
• Rising to the bait of getting angry due to other people’s actions
• Compulsion to eat heavy fatty food
• Taking too much salt and caffeine
• Taking too much sugar

And perform the below inward actions

• Set aside time for relaxation diligently – you will start looking forward to this ‘break’
• Adopt a relaxation technique (yoga, meditation, etc.) – this will change everything about your day as the benefits are exponential
• Perform some prayer before you start the day and before you fall asleep – this brings gratitude
• Make time for friends, loved ones, coaches – they always help you stay grounded and relaxed
• Sleep on time, sleep tight, sleep light
• Plan a vacation that suits you

Someone told me “Learn from other people’s experience, as you will not live long enough to experience everything yourself”. How true and poignant!

The ‘Action of No Action’ is my mantra now – make it yours and enjoy a life that is free from the bondage of anger.

As you switch your mind gears to ride the ‘Action of No Action’…Enjoy the drive, Stay Healthy and Stress-Free!!