The world has become a complex and more unified place. There are greater opportunities for us to keep in touch with loved ones, share memories and experiences instantly with our friends and family. The love that we interpret of their likes and comments increase our confidence, joy and the feeling of one-ness.
Information is constantly available and something that we don’t know can be “Googled” without the need to make a trip to the local library or find the expert to talk to. Streaming services like Netflix or Prime Video have brought exciting content right to our television, computers and phones. We enjoy unparalleled quality entertainment all-round the year and possibly 24×7. We enjoy video games on devices that provide us with a completely immersive experience with outstanding quality, resolution and graphics, only amplifying the experience.
We feel that we live in the golden age of information, technology and entertainment. We feel that companies seem to be falling over themselves and competing fiercely to provide better options to their customers i.e. Us, and to keep us loyal.
It feels great. Or does it really? Have you ever had a feeling that
- you spend less time talking with your family, partner or spouse?
- you are not being recognized and are constantly anxious?
- your friends are having a better life than you?
- your world is not as attractive as it should be?
- you need to travel more and see more?
- your view of the world is determined and constantly challenged and changed by what you read?
- nothing really matters?
and that all the above is constantly creating more stress and anxiety in your life instead of making it better and motivating you?
The above are common feelings that are triggered when one is constantly exposed to social media and subconsciously starts comparing oneself with the world being portrayed virtually.
This is the darker and more worrying side to all the supposed advantages and benefits of technology. More and more people are getting addicted to their phones, binge-watching TV, playing games endlessly and living in the virtual world mistaking it to be their own. We hear of parents abandoning or ignoring their children to bring up virtual children, careers and lives ruined as people are unable to turn off their phones. We are surrounded by gadgets emitting radio, infrared and other forms of communication waves that interrupt and impact us. These result in poor sleep, higher stress levels and greater health issues.
I met Rob, a successful banker who had been suffering from high stress, poor sleep and anxiety. His relationship with his wife was breaking down and his career suddenly seemed to be stagnating. He seemed like a wonderful man when I met him, he spoke passionately about his career and his family and there seemed no reason that he should feel troubled. As we were talking, he started talking more and more about his friends, how they are enjoying their lives, how he sees them going on holidays and exotic destinations and that he is not able to do the same for his family.
Another day, I spoke to his wife who mentioned that Rob was constantly on his phone, talking to friends, commenting on their photos, trying to take photos and uploading them on his social media accounts and constantly checking if his photos had been liked or commented on by his friends. She felt cut-off from his life, and it was frustrating and worrying her. The last thing he saw before he went to sleep was his phone and the 1st thing he saw when he woke up was his phone. It seemed to be his constant companion and the rest did not matter anymore. Both Rob and his wife seemed really worried. The good news was that Rob wanted to make amends.
I asked Rob to make a few small changes in his life and come let me know a week later how it felt. I asked him to
- Make 30 minutes every day to spend with his family. Designate that time as a phone, television and social-media free time.
- Disconnect from his phone 2 hours before going to sleep and resist the temptation to check messages. If something is urgent people will call.
- Turn off his phone or keep his phone in another room 1 hour before he sleeps.
- Wake up early and go for a run and spend some time planning his day
- Eat breakfast with his wife before heading off to work
Rob and his wife came back to me a week later, they looked happier, and Rob told me that the past week had been easier and how he had spent more time with his family. He did tell me that the temptation to go back to his phone was overwhelming at times and the support of his wife really helped him then. He slept better, and he felt so less stressed!
Rob continues to live the same week schedule every day now and I feel great every time I see him smiling, relaxed, energetic and just so full of life. He also gave me the proof that the remedy was so easy to implement and not as ‘impossible’ as many would have thought.
The incident helps highlight the dangers that we are putting ourselves into every day trying to live in this increasingly connected world. The electronic devices that we are living with
- Suppresses melatonin. This is the hormone that is produced in our body to maintain its clock. Impacting melatonin would confuse the body on when it is day and night and would impact your sleep directly. This leads to increased stress levels
- Throws off your body clock. Artificial blue light (the type that laptops, tablets and cell phones emit) is the worst culprit, so try to power-down tech devices at least two to three hours before bed
- Dulls your brain. Your brain like other parts of your body needs to rest. An e-mail, an interesting article, a disturbing post that you read before going to sleep keeps your brain active and would impact your ability to sleep well
- Impacts sleep. The chimes, the rings and a constant feeling that the world is moving when you are sleeping keeps you awake. This, in turn, impacts your ability to function normally and creates undue stress
Do you want to break free from these chains?
Do the below daily to ensure you manage your stress levels and lead a happy, anxiety-free and full life.
- Create a TV / mobile / device / social media free time daily in which you will connect to the real world, talk to friends, your spouse, partner and family. This is important as it will keep you connected to people around from the heart and not just as a “Liker” of posts on social media
- Call people who matter on their birthdays, anniversaries and important days and wish them. Leaving a message on social media is not the same as talking or meeting in person.
- Take time out to share another person’s life. It will make your life infinitely more enriching and happier
- Create a schedule and stick to it
- Meditate. Meditation calms you down and has been proven to be a great stress relief strategy and it makes you more focussed. Greater focus leads to greater success in your professional and personal worlds
- Turn off your Televisions, mobile phones or move them to a separate room at least 2 hours before you sleep
- Go for a daily morning walk or run.
It is important that you create time for yourself and connect with the real world around you. Otherwise, there is a real danger that you get lost in the virtual world and lose the things that matter to you i.e. Your family and Self.
Be technology aware, Be Free, Stay Healthy and Stress-Free!!